best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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