That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
