I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
