This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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