On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
