Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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