Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
