I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
