I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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