i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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