Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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