Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
