And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
