Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
