So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
