His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
