Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
