New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
