EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
