I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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