So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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