Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
