So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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