I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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