Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
