After last night, I could never be a politician.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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