im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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