If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I AM VODKA MAN
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
