He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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