I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
should my penis look like a turkey
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
