They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize