if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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