Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
