There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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