Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
