Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Terrible idea I love it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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