Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Found your dick twin last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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