You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
