would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize