I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i will never coherently bang her
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
