in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize