Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
