pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
