my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
