So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
