So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
