The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
