clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
