so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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