he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
