FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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