I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
