Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
