we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
