Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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