I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
