I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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