so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
