if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
