Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
