u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
