I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
