ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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