I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
