you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
