so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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