There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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