Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
