Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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