so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
