Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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