morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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